Thursday, June 13, 2013

Yippee Ki Yay, Nerf Herder

I sat at the bar with my third Jack and coke in front of me as I waited for Madeline. Fifteen years of service in the army with a lot of that time spent on various fronts and meeting up with her was making me more nervous than I'd been there. I turned on the bar stool and watched the entrance and saw her come in. She looked as stunning as the day she left me five years ago. Short brown hair framed her heart shaped face perfectly. I got up from my seat and made a beeline to the bathroom before she could spot me.

My pep talk staring at the mirror was cut short by a screaming and mechanical voices from the dining area. I confirmed my fears with a platoon of robo-soldiers. Ten machines designed to work perfectly together and now liberated from government control as members of the Dedicated Intelligent Electronic Harbingers of Absolute Robot Dictatorship. The bane of his life for the past year, but it also meant he knew how to take them on and neutralize their Strategic Threat Analysis/Reaction programming and the Weapon Active Radar System once in combat. I checked my phone and found it jammed, standard procedure for the robots, but they forgot to check the bathrooms. They always did, and with the opening I had left my service pistol at home, but being Psy-Ops I was a weapon.

I could take out a platoon by myself in the field, but there I wouldn't have to worry about a bunch of civilian hostages being killed, including Madeline. I went into the handicapped stall and brought my foot down in an axe kick to remove one of the ends of the hand rail, then ripped the other end free giving myself a club. I opened the door and got a good look at the robots, the smartest thing those fuckers did was paint themselves all the same so we couldn't identify the leader.

I focused my mental powers and grabbed the fire controls of two of the robots and had them fire at two other robots. Enough to mess up the friend or foe systems and hopefully do serious damage. At the same time I pushed off the ground to leap ten feet towards the entrance where two robots held Madeline and the hostess. I brought the metal rod down over the head of the robot right behind Madeline with a solid thunk that forced him to the ground. The other robot turned as the hostess dropped to the ground and I swung as hard as I could and lifted the robot off the ground and sent him flying into the bar.

The two robots who fired on their compatriots didn't do much damage, but did set off the STAR system and were gunned down thanks to my efforts. I reached out and telekinetically grabbed a serving platter and pushed it against the nearest bot as he fired his launcher. The grenade detonated and blew the robot to pieces. Half of the robot force was down as I leaped onto the bar to draw attention away from the hostages. I focused on the furthest away bot, and pushed him through the front window as he screamed “Roger, roger.”

I dropped behind the bar as the four bots focused fire on me and blew apart hundreds of bottles of liquor that I had just been standing in front of. I stood up and threw the pole then grabbed it telekinetically and pushed it harder and it went straight through the chest of one of the remaining bots and pinned the lifeless metal against the wall. I stood up over the bar and only two robots were left standing. The other two were being ganged up on by the other restaurant patrons. I propelled myself up in the air and pulled the metal bar back to me as I landed behind one of the robots and grabbed him in a strangle hold. Obviously ineffective as he didn't need to breath, but it did give me a good amount of leverage to twist and disconnect the head from the processor in the head, from the power source in the body.

I lifted the lifeless hulk and flung it through the air directly into the last standing robot and the two went down in a pile. I charged after the projectile and swung a hard blow as the bot tried to stand and sent the head flying to stop any thoughts of retaliation. Madeline slowly made her way to her feet and I pushed through the disoriented crowd to steady her.

“You never could leave work behind could you?”

“Glad to see your sense of humor hasn't disappeared.”

“You came out of the bathroom,” she said. “Nervous about seeing me again?”

“Sounds kind of silly considering I just beat up a bunch of robots to save you.”

“And everybody else here, but you were still nervous about seeing me.”

“I can do a lot of things with my mind, but I can't control everything.”

No comments:

Post a Comment