Yippee Ki Yay, Nerf Herder

I sat at the bar with my third Jack and coke in front of me as I waited for Madeline. Fifteen years of service in the army with a lot of that time spent on various fronts and meeting up with her was making me more nervous than I'd been there. I turned on the bar stool and watched the entrance and saw her come in. She looked as stunning as the day she left me five years ago. Short brown hair framed her heart shaped face perfectly. I got up from my seat and made a beeline to the bathroom before she could spot me.

My pep talk staring at the mirror was cut short by a screaming and mechanical voices from the dining area. I confirmed my fears with a platoon of robo-soldiers. Ten machines designed to work perfectly together and now liberated from government control as members of the Dedicated Intelligent Electronic Harbingers of Absolute Robot Dictatorship. The bane of his life for the past year, but it also meant he knew how to take them on and neutralize their Strategic Threat Analysis/Reaction programming and the Weapon Active Radar System once in combat. I checked my phone and found it jammed, standard procedure for the robots, but they forgot to check the bathrooms. They always did, and with the opening I had left my service pistol at home, but being Psy-Ops I was a weapon.

I could take out a platoon by myself in the field, but there I wouldn't have to worry about a bunch of civilian hostages being killed, including Madeline. I went into the handicapped stall and brought my foot down in an axe kick to remove one of the ends of the hand rail, then ripped the other end free giving myself a club. I opened the door and got a good look at the robots, the smartest thing those fuckers did was paint themselves all the same so we couldn't identify the leader.

I focused my mental powers and grabbed the fire controls of two of the robots and had them fire at two other robots. Enough to mess up the friend or foe systems and hopefully do serious damage. At the same time I pushed off the ground to leap ten feet towards the entrance where two robots held Madeline and the hostess. I brought the metal rod down over the head of the robot right behind Madeline with a solid thunk that forced him to the ground. The other robot turned as the hostess dropped to the ground and I swung as hard as I could and lifted the robot off the ground and sent him flying into the bar.

The two robots who fired on their compatriots didn't do much damage, but did set off the STAR system and were gunned down thanks to my efforts. I reached out and telekinetically grabbed a serving platter and pushed it against the nearest bot as he fired his launcher. The grenade detonated and blew the robot to pieces. Half of the robot force was down as I leaped onto the bar to draw attention away from the hostages. I focused on the furthest away bot, and pushed him through the front window as he screamed “Roger, roger.”

I dropped behind the bar as the four bots focused fire on me and blew apart hundreds of bottles of liquor that I had just been standing in front of. I stood up and threw the pole then grabbed it telekinetically and pushed it harder and it went straight through the chest of one of the remaining bots and pinned the lifeless metal against the wall. I stood up over the bar and only two robots were left standing. The other two were being ganged up on by the other restaurant patrons. I propelled myself up in the air and pulled the metal bar back to me as I landed behind one of the robots and grabbed him in a strangle hold. Obviously ineffective as he didn't need to breath, but it did give me a good amount of leverage to twist and disconnect the head from the processor in the head, from the power source in the body.

I lifted the lifeless hulk and flung it through the air directly into the last standing robot and the two went down in a pile. I charged after the projectile and swung a hard blow as the bot tried to stand and sent the head flying to stop any thoughts of retaliation. Madeline slowly made her way to her feet and I pushed through the disoriented crowd to steady her.

“You never could leave work behind could you?”

“Glad to see your sense of humor hasn't disappeared.”

“You came out of the bathroom,” she said. “Nervous about seeing me again?”

“Sounds kind of silly considering I just beat up a bunch of robots to save you.”

“And everybody else here, but you were still nervous about seeing me.”

“I can do a lot of things with my mind, but I can't control everything.”

The Warmth of a Good Book

Once James accepted that he had no choice but to burn the books, the question became which to burn first. There were a lot of choices and all of them would serve his purposes perfectly well, but there were factors to take into account. The textbooks would burn longer, but they were expensive and if he made it out of here he'd have to buy them again if he wanted to pass his classes this semester. Not burning them wouldn't keep him warm though. Just over a week he'd been trapped in the cabin after the avalanche. Luckily the snow hadn't rolled over the house and covered the chimney, but unfortunately it was just a wood stove and not a real fireplace that might have allowed him to make his way up and out of the building. At least he had been inside unlike Rachel and Jeremy who had been outside when it happened, and he could only hope they were okay. Food was running low as well, but with planning it could last quite a few more days. Help had to be coming soon, the landlord knew people were renting the cabin, he must be aware of the avalanche as well.

Yesterday he had finished off the last of the furniture and fuel for the fire was becoming scarce as was the food supply no matter how well he rationed it. There was a decent collection of books in the cabin as well as the ones he had brought. James was gung-ho on burning the set of encyclopedias until he pulled it out and saw it was just a cardboard box decorated to look like a series of books. He'd already burned a couple of magazines, but they didn't last long, but they were better than nothing. He'd brought a couple of novels with him for the nights, but unlike the text books he actually liked reading these and didn't want to burn them. His copy of Neuromancer had seen a lot of action as he reread it regularly and a new copy just wouldn't be the same. James came to a compromise and figured the way to go about it was to stack up the books and alternate between the text books and paperbacks.

Calculus was the first book in line and the fire kept going as it finished off the wood and started on the cardboard cover before reaching the paper interior. The light was the same, but it felt colder, but that could all be in James' mind. He pulled the blanket around himself tighter as he listened to the book burn and waited to hear digging nearby. He hoped they showed up before he had to burn a book he loved.

Wrestlemania Weekend Thoughts Part 2

Kind of late on this but whatever. It's a good thing though so I can talk about the Raw on Monday as well.

So Sunday started off with Dragongate USA's Mercury Rising PPV. I missed the first match because hooking my computer up to my cousin's TV didn't work, but the PS3 web app pulled through where as the X-Box 360 never worked for me.

So Scott Reed vs. Caleb Konley started the show for me, and I was surprised with how good this match was, because the tag team matches from the scene are too filled with outside interference for me to have really enjoyed. Shenanigans at the end allow the bad guy, Scott Reed. The Super Smash Bros vs. DUF was a good match. The downside being that it looks like Uno dislocated his shoulder again.

Chuck Taylor vs. Brian Kendrick was a fun match, as any match with a swamp monster at ringside should be. Lots of nice back and forth before Kendrick picked up the win. The next match was the high flyers fray and it was awesome. Christina Von Eeries arrival in the match was cool and good to see her hit some nice moves before the Young Bucks superkicked her a ton of times to get the pin. I was disappointed to see Del Sol get eliminated so quickly, but he did hit a beautiful springboard reverse hurrincanranna before he left. Felt bad for Facade as he got no reaction from the crowd, but whatever. Fox eliminated him with a meteora from the top of a ladder which was awesome. Ricochet came down and hit Fox with a 630 on a ladder to let the Bucks eliminate him, and then there was a great 2 on 1 sequence with the Young Bucks taking on Uhaa Nation. Uhaa ends up getting the win with a rollup and then hitting his awesome standing moonsault/shooting star press combo.

John Davis vs. Orange Cassidy didn't last long, but it was a solid comedy match to start with neither man moving out of the corner to attack for a minute to start the match. Davis eventually had enough shenanigans and beat up the ref and all of the Gentleman's Club including the Swamp Monster. Then we have Ricochet, Gargano & Swann vs. EITA, Tomahawk TT & CIMA and this was my favorite match of the day. There was tons of action from everybody as well as Swann getting the shit chopped out of him for most of the match. Just everything you'd want from a DG six man and Richochet picked up the win and earned a title shot. There's some good stuff after the match with Gargano being a heel towards CIMA as well which hints there will be a CIMA vs. Gargano belt vs. belt match.

Shingo vs. Akira Tozawa was the main event of the show and it was awesome, and everybody who left the show early for Mania is a fool. Hard hitting action and the finish of this match was awesome with all the fighting spirit shown that leads to tons of head drops and great near falls. Shingo gets the win with two Made in Japans and a huge lariat. My favorite show of the weekend was this one, and I'm kicking myself that I didn't buy the replay option for it.

Then it was time for Mania and I liked that the show was mostly wrestling based. No backstage stuff and only a couple of video packages, but I could have lived without them, especially the big break between Punk/Taker and Lesnar/HHH.

The opening matches were all solid and used their time well. I've realized this is long so I'm not going to go into huge detail with them. I was surprised Ziggler and Big E. didn't pick up the win, but I guess WWE doesn't plan on breaking up Team Hell No so it makes sense. I didn't foresee Henry beating Ryback at all, that was crazy in a good way.

So for the main events Punk vs. Taker was the best as everybody was expecting and it was a really good match. I don't know why Lesnar/HHH went after this, they couldn't follow it up. Punk mocked Taker perfectly throughout the match and they just did everything right. Damn that announce table for not breaking for them on the elbow drop to the outside. One of the best matches of the weekend. HHH vs. Lesnar was a little long, but I still liked the match. It did plod at times, but it was violent, and physical and I loved that about it. A really good finish for the match as well. Rock vs. Cena was better than last year, but at the end it seemed to be too much of escaping the finisher and then finally hitting the finisher that wins. That works better in Puro where wrestlers have several finishers and they do it with some speed and impact. Still a good show over all and worth watching.

Raw the next night was awesome because the crowd made it that way. WWE made a lot of good decisions on that show, but the crowd was phenomenal. The pop for everything Ziggler did while cashing in Money in the Bank was awesome. The crowd shitting all over Sheamus/Orton was great and the random wrestler chants was awesome, as was them doing the wave, and then cheering for themselves. Obviously their masterstroke came when Fandango came out and they hummed his theme music, and then continued to do that for the rest of the night, when they left the stadium, and when they rode the train home. It was fucking magical and a great way to cap off four days of wrestling.

These posts are pretty fucking dense so next year I'll try and break it up better so it's not so rough to read, but I can't help it, I get pretty excited about wrestling.

Wrestlemania Weekend Thoughts Part 1

So far I've watched two and a half indy shows so far this weekend, with Evolve 19 being plagued by connection issues, but I do have the replay of that show to watch later. Although the matches I watched were kind of disappointing, but I missed the main event, the first match, and then Super Smash Bros vs. The Young Bucks so that show was a disappointment, but I'm hopeful watching the rest of the show may make it better.

RoH's Supercard of Honor 7 was an awesome show though to cap off the night. Opening tag match was a sound, fun opener and it was quite enjoyable. Shelton Benjamin vs. Mike Bennett was my favorite match from both men in RoH that I've seen. It was phenomenal and the dirty finish worked for the match, but it was one of those super sloppy reffing things that drives me crazy.

Jay Lethal vs. Michael Elgin was phenomenal. This match had everything, and there were perfect near falls, that had me convinced either man was going to lose and was genuinely surprised when somebody kicked out. The finish to this match was fucking awesome. Elgin hits a big powerbomb off the top rope, then a lariat, a turnbuckle bomb, and then an Elgin bomb to get the win. It was awesome. SCUM attacks them after the match and then leads into the SCUM vs. RoH match.

This 10 man tag was a solid match and everybody got to get some good spots in and look good and of course SCUM gets the win after some shenanigans which isn't unexpected, but pretty welcome. Karl Anderson vs. Roderick Strong was a good match from both men. Kind of disappointed Strong didn't get the win here, but both men looked good.

Matt Taven vs. Adam Cole vs. Matt Hardy was better than I expected, but I feel like right now they are really giving Taven short shift as the champ with the Hardy/Cole feud taking center stage. Truth Martini's antics ringside distract from him as well, but I actually like Martini working with a less well known guy, but I've only seen Taven on the last two PPVs so I'm not sure how good he is, but I feel like he's better than being minimized in the matches and I'm hopeful he's going to get some good time on PPVs afterward.

ReDRagon vs. American Wolves was a brutal hard hitting affair with some phenomenal near falls, and the action was non-stop and enjoyable throughout. A nice dirty finish for ReDRagon with a handful of tights which I enjoyed for the story, and I'm confident we haven't seen the last of this feud and I'm excited about that.

Jay Briscoe vs. Kevin Steen for the RoH Championship was phenomenal. It was a strong match, and the story was great. RoH wrestlers intercepting SCUM coming out was great, especially Mark intercepting Jacobs at the beginning of the SCUM invasion. Tons of great near falls and big moves at the end and Jay winning this match, and the title was surprising and fucking awesome. DAY ONE!

Then on Saturday I watched the Shimmer show and it was really strong as well. I thought the show started later and missed the opening of Yim vs. Kong, but the ending was fantastic, and definitely a good way to start the show to get the crowd excited. A lot of these wrestlers were new to me as I haven't watched Shimmer in quite some time, but I still liked it.

Veda Scott & Shazza McKenzie vs. Cherry Bomb & Kimber Lee was a solid tag match, and the only production mistake as the cameras missed Scott hitting the Mind Trip, but it was still good. The five lady match was good as well, but it was kind of quick and confusing as there were occasional times when tags were enforced and mostly people just hit big moves, although everybody looked good. Evie debuted and looked awesome, so I should remember to get some older Shimmer shows, or at least get ready to buy the shows taped next weekend.

Mercedes Martinez vs. Ayumi Kurihama really stepped up the game of this show, and it's weird to see Martinez being a heel, but she does it well and pummels Kurihama like a dick. Also female wrestlers seem to bump way better for dropkicks than guys do. A good victory for Martinez and a nice run up to the finish. Serena Deeb & Regeneration X vs. Neheah, Jessika Havok, and Sassy Stephi was a solid six man tag, but it was disappointing to see so little of Havok. Regeneration X had an awesome entrance dressed as Jay & Silent Bob, and Serena Deeb is one of the best women wrestlers in the world and I love to see her come back

Madison Eagles vs. Jessie McKay was an awesome match that didn't get the crowd reaction it deserved. This was one of my favorite matches of the show and both ladies had some enjoyable comments they yelled at the crowd. I also enjoyed Eagles biting McKay's arm to stop a rope break. The tag title four way was good, but it definitely didn't have enough Kana, although to satisfy my Kana needs she would have had to win the titles. It was a good match and LuFisto messed up her knee when she missed a moonsault to the outside. Still a fun match to watch and everybody looked good, although the finish felt kind of overbooked as Nakagawa didn't seem to know what to do while her teammate was getting beat up.

Athena vs. Ayako Hamada was an awesome match, and Athena's finisher the O-Face out of nowhere was awesome. This was my favorite match of the show, and the major reason I didn't love the main event as much as I should have. There was a long break as they set up the cage and it was an impressive cage. Saraya and Melissa used the cage well and delivered a tough match. Melissa hit several awesome curb stomps and gained the advantage after a big hurrincanranna on Saraya off the top rope then hit an air raid crash to get the win. Saraya has some really lazy kick outs where she lifts her arm up, but never bothers to actually roll her shoulder off the mat, which really bothers me for stupid reason. Still it was a good match and a really good show from Shimmer.

Pro Wrestling Guerilla's Mystery Vortex Review

PWG Mystery Vortex

Team Dojo Bros (Roderick Strong & Eddie Edwards) vs. The Young Bucks (Nick & Matt Jackson)

The show starts off with an amazing tag team match that could, and probably should be a main event. This match has a bunch of amazing near falls and a lot of hard shots for both teams and of course the Young Bucks delivering their unique blend of new moves, and classic heel tactics. Of course Strong and Eddie deliver their stiff chops throughout the match. Both teams deliver on some the double team moves. Both teams get in all their trademark offense and the end comes when Roderick picks up a Jackson for a dominator and Edwards delivers a double stomp to take him down for a three count. This fucking match is awesome, and if you're disc only had this match you'd be satisfied, and it's only the first match.

Drake Younger vs. Sami Callihan

Hard hitting action, that's what this match is all about. Drake Young busts his head open delivering headbutts to Callihan, which is pretty normal for him. The very beginning of this match has both men taking some wicked bumps that are kind of ignored later in the match, but the are awesome. Younger takes a nice bump off the apron onto some chairs from a bicycle kick. Younger then delivers a nice piledriver to Callihan on the apron, and all that is just in the first five minutes of the match. Sami eventually pulls out a win with a seated stretch muffler in a brutal match between two bruisers.

Super Smash Bros. vs. RockNES Monsters

Comedy shenanigans occur in this match as well as awesome wrestling, it's a delightful combination. The Monsters also provide classic heel shenanigans in the match which are quite enjoyable. I also enjoyed Goodtime cutting part of his beard and blowing it into Stupefied's face to allow Yuma to get a rollup that doesn't quite work. Yuma also hits one of the best looking reverse hurrincanrannas I've ever seen. Nobody can withstand the double team maneuvers of the Super Smash Bros. though, and they retain the belts in a really good match.

Joey Ryan vs. Scorpio Sky

A good technical start to the match after the two hug, and they each throw in references to retired members of the Dynasty. Joey does a Scott Lost double boot/stomp out of the corner and Sky delivers a Lion Cock Punch. After Sky hits a big tope con hilo on Ryan he fixes the chairs at ringside so Ryan can hit a mustache ride off the apron through the chairs afterward, it looked awesome and brutal. Scorpio gets the win with a nice combo ending in a TKO, and this is a great match for Ryan's PWG career to end on.

B-Boy vs. Brian Cage vs. Willie Mack vs. TJ Perkins

An awesome four way match between these guys. Lots of good stuff from everybody and TJ has a lot of nice multiperson submissions going for him in this match. There's a nice chop exchange between TJ. Cage, and B-Boy where TJ is avoiding the chops meant for him before he delivers a chop so Cage and B-Boy stop and both hit him with a chop. They do a couple of excellent sequences where everybody hits a big move, and they all fit into the match well. Even the dive sequence makes sense in the match. I like the ending with TJ having Cage in an STF, but Mack his the Chocolate Thunder Driver on B-Boy to get the pin before TJ gets a submission. Great work from all four guys especially TJ who is one of my favorite wrestlers.

El Generico vs. Rich Swann

An odd match for Generico as he plays the heel to start the match and slows the match down and grinds on Swann. Of course Swann escapes that and delivers all his high flying offense which is pretty awesome. I especially liked the jump up top rope hurrincanranna where he lands on his feet after delivering it. A good match from these two where Generico picks up the victory with his crazy flip the opponent around a couple of times into a powerbomb. That's an awful description of that move, but whatever.

Team Dojo Bros vs. Super Smash Bros.

Goddamn this match. Dojo Bros attack while SSB are doing their opening pose and then lay a beatdown on Uno. They deliver awesome offense and keep Stupefied on the outside. Once Stupefied gets the hot tag it might be the hottest tag I've ever seen. He throws Edwards to the outside and hits him with a dive, runs into the ring and hits a springboard move on Strong, then another dive on Edwards, a springboard DDT on Strong, another dive, and then a Meteora on Strong and the crowd goes apeshit, 'cause it's awesome. The finish is amazing with Edwards hitting some sick double stomps and Roderick hitting one of the best of his suplex into a backbreaker on Stupefied. I love both these teams, and this was a baller match especially considering they had both wrestled awesome matches earlier in the show.

Adam Cole vs. Kevin Steen (Guerilla Warfare)

This match is best summed up by the word violence. To start Steen runs Cole dong first into every corner post on the outside, and then hits a powerbomb onto the apron on all four sides of the ring. Several ladders and many chairs are used to beat on each other before the two men construct a brutal looking stack of chairs. Steen wins the battle on the top rope and puts Cole through the chairs with a fisherman buster in one of the coolest looking spots ever and the crowd and announcers go nuts, and when Cole kicks out they go even nuttier. Steen then brings in some thumbtacks including some he drinks and then spits onto Cole because Steen is fucking insane. They tease the tacks several times before Cole delivers a nice german suplex into them and follows up with a superkick and straighjacket german suplex to get the win and become the PWG Champion.

Overall: Buy this fucking show now, it's fucking awesome. Every match is main event caliber and everybody is going all out the whole time to provide the best wrestling on the planet. The best wrestling show of 2012 from top to bottom and there's not a single match that isn't good, and most of them are great.

Editing Second Draft

I dropped fifty words in this edit and tightened every thing up. There was a lot done in the intro and the beginning of the action. After this step I would have other people look at it to get feedback on what I should change, this next edit might take a while as I need opinions before I make changes.

Edit: I have removed the story so I can submit it to places. I should have thought of that when I started this thing. Although I hadn't planned on writing something of good quality, just a demo piece.

Seeing the Editing Process

So to keep myself active I'm going to show you fine readers of my blog the process I would go through to edit a story from rough draft to something good. Normally my editing process is very long because I'm bad at editing, but I'm going to keep it fairly quick for this go around. Here is the rough draft of a flash fiction piece I wrote tonight. Tomorrow I'm going to post the first draft with my edits. After that I'm going to get crits from friends and then post a second draft on the blog and you can see how things change with each edit. So with that said I present the flash fiction piece.

Edit: Removed so I can submit this beast.